I like the concept of performance reviews, however, most of the times I don’t like the way they are executed.  The way most businesses conduct yearly reviews just don’t seem to enhance a person’s performance.  It’s so subjective to the manager reviewing the person.  For example I have had bosses that say everyone working for me are outstanding performers, so he rated them that way.  It did not matter what some of the people did, they all got outstanding. I also had the boss that said there are no outstanding performers, they are all good and I will rate them that way.

Then you have the person who thinks his/her rating will mean a promotion or huge raise.  Then the boss says well your performance is good, but not good enough.  That just leaves the person wondering what does it take, well it’s not that rating.  Then you have the person who thinks they perform great, by coming to work every day, and get upset with a bad review.

I much more prefer weekly or monthly reviews/discussions.  Just talk about work and what you see and are doing.  This gives both the opportunity to enhance their performance.  If they are having issues and not doing well, it also a time to discuss what is wrong and helping them improve.

Then on a very personal level I conduct my own performance review each week.  I ask myself what went good and what went bad.  I ask myself did I do everything I wanted or do I need to adjust my plans.  I often discover my emotional feelings are connected to how I did.  When I have a bad week, I relax and let it go, I know there will be those weeks.  When I have a great week, I have a party and enjoy the results of that week. 

My review takes only a few minutes and gets me excited about the next week.  The best part of my review is asking myself what joys did I have and who did I share my love with.  Improve those areas and your life will vastly improve.

Much joy and love to you and yours

I am a huge believer in speaking of joy and love.  However, in as much as I do speak of joy and love some still get offended by a look and a simple statement. Today people are so upset by everything it is a wonder you can do anything without offending someone.  I am sorry.

I believe the biggest part of this common statement is being real and not pretending.  I have seen people become so worried about this they are not true to themselves.  They will agree with anything just to not offend someone.  I try to learn, but when I truly don’t agree I will speak up.  I will ask questions to get a better understanding, but I will also call out wrong actions.

I believe the problem comes from speaking or listening with emotions.  It not just your voice either, you body language will speak for you too.  For this reason I listen better and ask questions before I speak up.  I also focus on speaking from my soul.  When you listen to your soul you will truly learn to speak of joy and love.  If someone still gets offended, I just let it go and move on.  I now understand there are people who just love the opposite of joy and love.

Speaking from my soul.  Today I am sending you my love and pray you find true joy in your day.

Much joy and love to you and yours

As I was working hard to resolve an issue with water coming into my house yesterday, I got lots of advice.  I was told it could be the gutter or a defect in the door.  The lists of what it could be were crazy, then came some you should have fixed this before it happened.  Everyone talking but not one hand helping find the true issue.  I had to take action, so I started taking the door frame apart.  It was raining so hard, I was getting soaked. 

Finally I had this really great idea, I got some plastic and stapled it up around the work area.  I was drier so I could get to the issue.  Finally I found the area with rotten wood and more water.  I tried to seal the area with a special seal, but it did not work.  Another great idea came to me, I put plastic around the area with running water and created a new flow away from the house.  It was enough to stop the water from coming in the house, just not a final solution.   The rain will stop tonight and tomorrow I can figure out a final solution.

Taking action is a required part of creating a different life.  We can dream about it all we want, but if we don’t start doing something, nothing will change.  My little house project is just like most people who talk about change.  We talk about it we complain about it and yet nothing changes.  You need to start taking some kind of action.  Just like my project the rain kept coming and so will life issues keep coming at you.  Notice I created a small space to work in and address the issue and stay out of the rain.  We need to do the same thing with our dreams.  Find that small about of time and take some action.

Notice another part of my house project, I addressed the key issue, but did not complete the job.  I learned it was almost impossible to seal the frame when it was raining.  I created a simple solution to resolve the issue of water coming in the house.  I could not solve the bigger issue at that time.  We need to do the same thing, just take a small action here or there.  The final part will be reviewing the entire frame today.  The final solution may not be completed today, but it will be completed soon. 

Take some actions on your dreams today, ten or thirty minutes a day is a start to a new life.

Much joy and love to you and yours

Well this will be a weekend of rain and more rain.  Every time it rains I am reminded of two wonderful songs.  The first one I heard when I was about 12 years old.  I loved that song, but I could not find it in any store.  I searched all the record stores and they did not have it.  Finally we were visiting my grandmother and we went to a store in New York.  I finally found the record, only one problem it was not a single it was an album.  I did not have enough money for an album, so I hunted down my grandmother.   I asked if she had a few things for me to work on back at her house.  She gave me the extra money and I was singing a new song.

The song is Raindrops are falling on my head.  When I think back to that time I wonder why that song was so important to a young 12 year old.  Then it came to me I had just changed school mid-year due to a new busing law.  We were bused to mix up the different races, which just upset a bunch of people.  There was a war going on and lots of tension in the world. All I wanted was happiness and that song told me it was possible because I am free.

Anytime I do feel tension or too much coming on me, I relax and play Raindrops are falling on my head.  I sing it out loud The blues they send to meet me won't defeat me, It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me.  When I remember that part my next song comes to mind.  Singing in the Rain.

I can’t tell you how many times I have sang singing in the rain, in the rain.  Yes, I am kind of goofy with singing and dancing in the rain.  I just smile and love it…I don’t care about getting wet, I just have fun. I just wished I could dance like Gene Kelly.

You know the truth is the sun is still shining behind those clouds and the rain is wonderful for us to drink and feeds the plants.  If your rain drops are issues in life, just relax some and a solution will come to you to help you reach happiness again. 

Much joy and love to you and yours.

When I was young we would often exchange message with little slips of paper.  I would see messages about Betty liking Joe or can I see your homework.  However, someone told me there were also messages of rumors or jokes about someone.  I guess I was lucky, I never saw those messages or maybe I just totally forgot them.

Today there are electronic messages, and some people are reading hundreds of those messages per day.  Forget the email I am just talking about text or twitter or other instant messages.  I think it’s funny how some people have so much to say in instant messages and yet have nothing to say in person.  I really don’t get those messages, so I asked about them.  It turns out they are just short messages, some about Betty liking Joe.  They also post messages about every little thing in life.  On my way to get gas.  Just woke up.  What are you wearing?  Etc.

You could say most of those messages are fun to write and read.  Then there are those mean messages about false rumors or hate.  Today one of those messages can reach hundreds of people in an instant.  It may start out as a joke or from a hurt, but in truth it will hurt the person the joke is about.  I have heard girls in my car discuss those messages.  I want to chase down that message and destroy it, but it’s too late it has spread.  I told them once just stop reading it and put it out of your mind. 

There is a very old quote about messages, it goes something like this.  You should question all messages, if the message is a rumor throw it away.  If the message is about someone else throw it away.  If the message is not directly from the source, throw it away.  It’s all about seeking the truth in the messages you read and trust. 

I suggest you start writing nice message to share joy and love.  It feels better to write and much better to the readers.  Here is a really fun suggestion.  Write a few wonderful messages to yourself on post-it and put them around your home and car.  Just think, you wake up and see a note on the mirror, I love you.  Wow what a wonderful way to start the day.

Much joy and love to you and yours

Today I reviewed a few pages on things kids do that adults wish they could do.  There were a few really cool ones like getting carried when you’re tired.  I also liked the one about speaking up for yourself or questioning things.  But they truly missed the greatest thing all kids do that adults forget to do.  They missed dreaming.

Not only do kids dream they do it without any limits.  They can fly or travel to faraway places, they can dance or sing or do amazing tricks.  I love asking a three year old about their dreams.  The great think about dreaming is there are no limits and when a child tells you their dreams, nobody questions it they just say that is nice.  However, have an adult tell you a wild dream and people will say are you crazy that will never happen or you are dreaming too big.

Most adults will limit their dreaming or never share their dreams.  Note I am not talking about night dreaming, just day dreams.  When was the last time you really dreamed about changing something in your life or doing something?  It drives me crazy when people complain about their life and yet when you ask them what they dream about, they give you a blank stare. 

Don’t be one of those people who sit on the shore of life without a dream.  I don’t care your age you can dream and create a life you truly desire.  Sit down and dream a dream of joy and love.  Then surround yourself with stories that get you there.  It could be books, movies, or people.  Take those dreams and make them real.  If you need someone to believe in your dreams let me know and I will be there for you.

Much joy and love to you and yours

Just last night we had a lesson on being adaptive.  A big storm came and brought lots of rain, wind and loss of power.  It all happened right when we were making dinner too.  The chicken was almost done and all the power was off.  All the family gathered in the kitchen wondering when will the power come back and they were looking for dinner.  As the wind and rain moved on we looked outside and decided to go on the deck.  The sky was full of interesting colors, it looked like a painting of a sky after a storm.  For the first time ever I even saw green clouds, there were also red clouds and tons of white clouds.

 Then I said lets finish dinner on the grill, my son put the chicken on the grill added some veggies and dinner was cooking again.  As dinner was cooking an old friend came by to visit.  We got out some candles, started the fire place and we were having a party.  Soon enough we had our dinner and shared some old stories as we ate. That is all about being adaptive to the situation, you know one other thing not once did hear anyone complain.

I would have to say I have learned to be adaptive, I could not tell you how many different situations I have had over the years.  I guess I learned early on there is no need to cry about it, just adapt and see where it goes.  I have seen people get so bent out of shape about things not going the way they wanted it to go, or upset over a word.  Oh, sorry I was thinking of my children when they were young.  Remember when you were young and you just had to have your way or you would scream.  You had to have some kind of food or toy, but you did not get it and you screamed.

For me as a parent I have heard some screams over the years, but in all honestly it was when they were tried.  They wanted their way, but it really was a fight of being tired and they did not want to sleep.  I would hold them and sing or give them a ride to settle them down.  They would feel the peace and love and relax and go to sleep.

The next time you get upset and not able to adapt to the situation, just relax and allow God to help you.  Just breathe and relax and feel joy and love again.  Everything will work out fine just allow the stress to release.   Remember being adaptive is finding peace in the storm.

Much joy and love to you and yours

When I was in high school I had a teacher once taught us multiple ways to say Thank You.  Danke schön, molte grazie, Merci!, Asante, Kob Kun, Arigatou, kiitos, dziekuje, efharisto, tack.  I took on this assignment and learned to say them, we all learned the words.  Then came the real lesson, saying them with meaning. I stayed after class to ask her more questions around this assignment and what does this have to do with English.  She was our English teacher.

That was when she told me how Thank You are the most beautiful words in the English language.  Her lesson was to also teach us how to use those words in any language to express gratitude.  She also said, if you learn to express gratitude at all times life becomes beautiful and life is full of joy and love. 

That day she spent almost an hour telling me how wonderful it is to say thank you to everyone you meet.  I learned you need to feel the gratitude of all people around you, even the ones you don’t like.  Then she said you also need to feel it and say it to yourself.  She said when you take the extra steps, tell yourself Thank you. 

Later in life I learned the Bible is full of offering thanks.  Everyone gave thanks and praise to God for everything and at all times. I also talked to other people about gratitude and it’s a common expression of love.  I give thanks to my teacher and give thanks to everyone I meet. There are times I say Thanks in silence, but most of the times I thank them directly.  It does make people smile and is the easiest way of spreading joy and love to everyone you meet.

Thank you for reading my blog, today.  Now go out there and thank everyone and life for a wonderful day.

Much joy and love to you and yours

When I was a young boy I often went to the park to search for balls.  I would search around the woods and uncover so many baseballs. Then one day I decided to go further into the woods to see what I could find.  I found a few old bottles along the trail, but as I got deeper into the woods the trail was gone and all there was is woods and leaves on the ground.  I found an old tree lying on its side and decided to take a break.  As I sat on that tree I thought to myself, I am all alone deep into the woods.  I wondered if anyone has been where I was sitting.  Then my mind started playing as an adventurer and I acted as if I was discovering a new location.

As you can imagine I had a ton of fun dreaming up stories and acting them out in the woods.  I knew I was alone and had no fears of anyone seeing me, so I let it all out.  I really loved that spot and went there a number of times just to explore and create an adventure.  When I got home my mother would often ask me what have you been doing all day.  I would laugh and tell her about my adventure, she would just laugh and say oh you have been reading another book.  I told nobody of my secret location and truly enjoyed that summer and a few times over the next few years.

As an adult I often think about those times in the woods.  I have meditated on those times a number of times and really had so much fun.  One day after exploring in my mind it hit me, I was truly clearing my mind and allowing new concepts in. As a child it was easy for me to let it all go and explore, what else does a kid do. Now as an adult my mind was full of actions, requirements, needs, desires, etc.  but when I let it go and explore the woods in my mind I was free from everything. 

As much as we say we can do multiple tasks at the same time, the mind does not work that way.  I could think about all those things, but when I focused on the woods I was totally there.  I did not think of one thing I needed or needed to do.  I just relaxed and explored, I cleared my mind and allowed new thoughts to flow to me.  In those moments I was free and new dreams came to me freely.  I love those times, and seek to visit them often. 

Clearing your mind is not just about letting thoughts go, you can clear your mind by exploring a time in your mind you felt totally free.  You can pick a dream location and visit it in your mind.  Clearing your mind is doing what you may have never done.  Give it a try and enjoy the moments of pure amazing joy and love.

Much joy and love to you and yours

I often wonder who am I to be truly blessed with my family.  I have been blessed with eight wonderful children, four grandchildren, and hundreds of my kid’s friends.  I have been blessed to share joy and love with all those wonderful children.  If you asked me what would I desire for Father’s day it’s very simple just to see them happy and to spend some time with me.

My journey into fatherhood was kind of shocking to my family.  There I was only 19 and I fell in love with this woman and two wonderful boys.  They were so wonderful, one was just one and the other just a couple months old.  I jumped in with both feet, the boys did not have a father, so I became the Dad and shared my love with them.  A few years later we had another son and we also lost one.  Over the next 20 years we added five more boys and one girl to the family.  As with all big families our house became the center of the community.  Tons of kids were coming and going, some I just share a few words with and some I have known for years and shared my joy and love with them.

This weekend was a typical time for me.  My daughter headed off with my sister n law on a mini vacation.  I gave her a huge hug, wished her well and slipped her a few dollars.  One of the boys played in an all-star soccer tournament, which I loved watching.  In between shopping for food for the week, and cleaning some.  When we came back home from the second game, which he won, I discovered the stove had problems.  I worked on fixing the issue and discovered a few surprises. 

One of the boy already cut the grass and now he was making dinner on the grill.  He said he noticed I was working on the stove, so he went to work on making dinner on the grill.  Surprises like that makes me really happy and excited with them sharing joy and love back.  Being a father is all about providing for your family.  We provide with all our love, going to jobs to provide money, fixing things to provide comfort and safety, cleaning inside and outside the home to make it feel nice for all the family.  The list of what I do for my family is endless and so is my love for them.

This was just my story I am sure your Dad has a story to tell you to.  Go visit him or give him a call today I am sure he will love to hear from you.  If you are like me, my father passed away 19 years ago, just remembering him with joy and love is all you can do.  Do it share your joy and love with him, He will smile and feel great just for you sharing a few words of love.

Happy Fathers Day

Much joy and love to you and yours.